Physical abuse is more than just the physical act. It’s the message behind it. “I can hurt you. I can control you. You are not safe.”
This is what most people think of when they hear "domestic violence." The hitting. The slapping. The pushing. The choking. The throwing of objects.
But physical abuse is more than just the physical act. It's the message behind it. "I can hurt you. I can control you. You are not safe."
And it's never okay. Not once. Not if she apologizes. Not if she promises it will never happen again. Not if you forgive her.
Hitting, Slapping, Punching
Any physical strike. Any impact on your body. Even if it doesn't leave a mark. Even if it's "just" an open hand.
Pushing and Shoving
Using physical force to move you. To show dominance. To push you out of the way. To intimidate.
Choking or Strangulation
This is extremely dangerous. It can cause brain damage or death. And it's one of the strongest predictors of future homicide.
Throwing Objects
Throwing things at you. Near you. Breaking things to intimidate you. That's physical violence.
Grabbing and Restraining
Holding you down. Restraining you. Preventing you from leaving. Trapping you in a room.
Using Weapons
Using knives, guns, or other objects as weapons. Even if she doesn't use them on you, the threat is violence.
Physical Intimidation
Getting in your face. Raising her hand like she's going to hit you. Blocking your exit. Making you feel physically unsafe.
Physical abuse causes injury. Pain. Permanent damage. But it also causes something else.
Fear. Terror. And the knowledge that you are not safe in your own home.
Physical abuse is the ultimate expression of control. It's the message that she can hurt you whenever she wants. And there's nothing you can do about it.
We don't report because we're ashamed. Because we think we should be able to handle it. Because we think no one will believe us. Because the system is biased against us.
And we're right. The system is biased. The cops often default to blaming the man. The shelters are full of women. The resources are scarce.
But that doesn't mean you shouldn't report. It means you have to be smart about it. Document everything. Take photos. Keep records. Build your case.
Document everything. Take photos of your injuries. Write down what happened. When it happened. How it happened. Use the Abuse Log.
Seek medical attention. Even if you don't think you need it. Go to a doctor. Get a record of your injuries. Tell them how it happened. It's evidence.
Make a safety plan. Physical abuse is dangerous. It escalates. The most dangerous time is when you try to leave. Plan ahead. Know where you can go. Who you can call.
Report it. Yes, the system is broken. But you can still report. And your documentation will make it harder for them to ignore you.
Get help. Call a hotline. Find a shelter. Talk to a therapist. You don't have to do this alone.
Physical abuse is never okay. Not once. Not if you forgive her. Not if she promises to change. You deserve to be safe.
