Anxiety
Anxiety is a constant state of low-grade terror. It’s the feeling that something bad is about to happen, even when nothing is happening right now. It’s your nervous system stuck on high alert, scanning for threats that never quite materialize.
Emotion: Anxiety
Definition
Anxiety is a constant state of low-grade terror. It's the feeling that something bad is about to happen, even when nothing is happening right now. It's your nervous system stuck on high alert, scanning for threats that never quite materialize.
Anxiety is exhausting. It's expensive. It uses up all the energy you need for daily life and leaves you with nothing left.
WHAT ANXIETY CAN LOOK LIKE
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Constant worrying about what might happen next
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Physical symptoms: racing heart, shallow breathing, tight chest
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Difficulty sleeping because your mind won't shut off
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Jumping at loud noises or unexpected movements
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Feeling like you can never quite relax
HOW ANXIETY WORKS
Your amygdala is responsible for processing threats and activating the fight-or-flight response. In an abusive relationship, threats are constant. Your amygdala stays activated. Your body stays in high-alert mode. And eventually, your system forgets how to calm down. The anxiety becomes a background hum that never turns off.
HOW ANXIETY MIGHT SHOW UP IN YOU
You might notice yourself checking her mood before you speak. You might feel your heart rate spike when you hear her car in the driveway. You might find it hard to sleep or stay asleep. You might catch yourself holding your breath without realizing it.
ANXIETY DOES NOT MEAN
Feeling anxious doesn't mean you're weak or cowardly. It means your body is reacting to real danger. Anxiety is not your fault. It's the natural response of a human being who has been subjected to ongoing threat.
WHAT TO DO ABOUT ANXIETY
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Breathe. Anxiety is physical. It lives in your body. Slow, deep breaths can calm your nervous system. Try it. It works.
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Ground yourself. Name five things you can see. Four you can touch. Three you can hear. Two you can smell. One you can taste. Bring yourself back to the present.
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Check the threat level. Are you actually in danger right now, or is your brain anticipating danger? Both are real, but they require different responses.
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Make a safety plan. If the anxiety is coming from real threat, having a plan reduces it. Know where you can go. Who you can call. What you'll do.
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Don't let anxiety make decisions. You can feel anxious and still do what needs to be done. Feelings don't have to control actions.
NO-BULLSHIT HONESTY CHECK
Not everything that makes you anxious is abuse. Sometimes you're just worried about normal things. Sometimes your brain is just doing what brains do. But if your anxiety is specifically tied to her... to her mood, her reactions, her presence - that's different. That's survival anxiety. That's your body telling you you're not safe. Listen to the difference.