When someone treats you like you don’t matter, over and over, it’s easy to start believing them. That’s what abuse does. It chips away at your sense of value until all you see in the mirror is someone who isn’t “good enough.” For male survivors, especially those who were emotionally manipulated or financially controlled, the damage runs deep.
But here’s the truth: you are not worthless. You are someone who was made to feel worthless. There’s a big difference. And it’s time to rebuild what was taken from you.
Why You Might be Feeling Worthless:
- You were told you were the problem.
- You were blamed for their actions.
- You stayed in a relationship that drained you.
- You were financially or emotionally dependent, then discarded.
- You were made to feel invisible.
Feeling worthless doesn’t mean you are. It means someone else devalued you—and you started believing it.
What Feeling Worthless Can Lead To (If Left Untreated):
- Settling for toxic friendships, jobs, or partners
- Self-neglect or destructive habits
- Constant self-doubt
- Feeling like you don’t deserve happiness, love, or success
- Avoiding goals or relationships because “what’s the point?”
How to Start Rebuilding Your Self-Worth:
🔹 Call out the lie
That voice in your head that says “I’m not good enough” wasn’t born in you—it was planted there. Start calling it what it is: not yours.
🔹 Look at what you survived
You’re here. You’ve endured things many couldn’t. That isn’t failure. That’s strength. Use your abuse log as proof of what you’ve carried.
🔹 Create a personal truth list
List 5 truths about yourself that have nothing to do with your past relationship. For example:
- I am loyal.
- I keep going, even when I’m tired.
- I want to grow.
- I am allowed to make mistakes.
- I matter, even if someone else couldn’t see it.
🔹 Practice saying no
Rebuilding worth starts with boundaries. Every time you say “no” to something that drains you, you’re saying “yes” to yourself.
🔹 Do one thing daily for you
Not for productivity. Not for someone else. For you. Walk. Stretch. Listen to a podcast. Eat well. Respect your body.
What Worth Looks Like (When You’re Rebuilding):
- You stop apologizing for having needs
- You surround yourself with people who see you
- You stop explaining your pain to those who don’t care
- You start talking to yourself like someone worth protecting
Related Reads:
- How to Cope with Shame After Abuse
- How to Deal with Anger After Abuse
- Healing Emotional Numbness and Disconnection
- Setting your boundaries
Final Word:
You are not here by accident. You didn’t survive abuse just to shrink.
You’re not worthless. You’re wounded—and that can heal.
Piece by piece, you rebuild. And this right here? This is one of those pieces.
