Intro
“I make the money, but I don’t get to touch it.”
“She ruined my credit.”
“I can’t leave — I have nowhere to go.”
These are the silent effects of financial abuse — one of the least recognized forms of domestic abuse against men.
You don’t have to be broke to be financially controlled. And you don’t have to be jobless to feel trapped.
Let’s break down how money is used as a weapon — and what you can do to take your financial power back.
1. What Financial Abuse Looks Like
It’s not always about stealing. It’s about control.
Some common tactics include:
Restricting access to bank accounts or credit cards
Sabotaging your job or reputation
Racking up debt in your name
Making you ask permission to spend money
Guilt-tripping you for every expense
Hiding money or lying about financial decisions
If you feel like you’re working but still powerless, that’s not a money problem — that’s control.
2. Why Men Often Miss It
Because it doesn’t “look” like abuse. It looks like:
“She’s just better with money.”
“I’m just bad at saving.”
“We’re a team, so I don’t need to know everything.”
“She just gets stressed about bills.”
But ask yourself:
Are you treated like a partner — or a child?
Are you making financial decisions — or just obeying them?
That’s the difference between teamwork and financial submission.
3. How It Keeps Men Trapped
You can’t afford to leave
You’re afraid of being homeless
She ruined your credit or maxed your cards
You don’t even know what you owe
You feel like a failure for “losing control”
This is intentional. It’s not just irresponsibility — it’s a trap.
Control the money, and you control the man.
4. Signs You’re Being Financially Abused
You might be a victim if:
You’re forced to hand over your paycheck
You’re not allowed to review accounts or bills
You’re constantly made to feel guilty for spending anything
You’ve had credit cards or loans opened in your name without permission
You’ve lost a job or opportunity because of your partner’s interference
Even if you live in the same house and share income — abuse is abuse.
5. How to Start Taking Back Control
Gather documents: Bank records, credit reports, loan paperwork
Secure a safe email and address for communication
Track everything: Start logging income, expenses, and suspicious activity
Speak with a financial advisor or legal aid (many have free options for abuse victims)
Slowly separate finances if safe to do so (open a private account, adjust direct deposit)
You don’t need to be rich to take back control. You just need to start making your own decisions again.
