Confusion isn’t just “I don’t know what to do.” It’s “I don’t know what’s real.” One minute they’re loving, the next they’re cruel. You start questioning your memory, your instincts, even your own reactions. Abuse, especially emotional and psychological, thrives in confusion. The goal is to keep you too disoriented to leave. But confusion isn’t a sign that you’re broken. It’s a sign that your reality has been tampered with.
1. What Confusion Feels Like (Symptoms)
- Second-guessing everything you think, say, or feel
- Wondering if you’re the problem… or if you’re “too sensitive”
- Feeling like you’re losing your grip on what actually happened
- Replaying conversations because they don’t make sense
- Feeling like nothing adds up, but not being able to explain why
2. How Confusion Affects You
Confusion creates paralysis. You struggle to make decisions. You start ignoring your gut. You rely more on what the other person says than what you know deep down. This leaves you vulnerable to more manipulation. It also wears down your confidence, making you easier to control… and less likely to ask for help.
3. Where Confusion Comes From
Confusion is often a symptom of gaslighting — when someone makes you doubt your own reality. It also comes from mixed signals, trauma bonding, and constant emotional flip-flopping. Abuse isn’t always direct… sometimes it’s subtle, inconsistent, and designed to keep you off balance. That’s not “you being dramatic.” That’s a strategy — and you’ve been on the receiving end.
4. What You Can Do About Confusion
- Keep a journal. Write down what happened, not how they explained it.
- Start trusting your gut. If something feels off, it probably is.
- Reality-check with someone safe. You need someone who won’t gaslight you too.
- Slow your decisions down. Confusion feeds on panic, give yourself space.
- Stop explaining yourself to people who benefit from your confusion.
5. What NOT to Do About Confusion
- Don’t ignore it and hope it goes away. It won’t.
- Don’t give the benefit of the doubt to people who consistently hurt you.
- Don’t outsource your reality to someone who constantly changes the rules.
6. Why You Need to Face Confusion
Confusion is like fog. If you don’t slow down and recalibrate, you’ll crash. Left alone, it creates anxiety, indecision, and dependency. But once you recognize that it’s not your fault, that someone else wants you confused, you start to take your clarity back. That’s when healing begins.
7. When to Ask for Help With Confusion
If you feel like you’re losing your mind…
If your memories don’t match what you’re being told…
If you find yourself apologizing just to keep the peace, even when you did nothing wrong…
It’s time to talk to someone.
A good therapist can help you separate what’s real from what you’ve been conditioned to believe.
And if you’re asking yourself, “Am I crazy?”, that’s your answer. Crazy people don’t wonder if they’re crazy.
(Also, if you’re re-reading old texts like it’s a court case… you’re not alone, but it’s probably time to tag in a professional.)
Brother’s Note
You’re not crazy. You’re not weak. You’re not the problem.
You’ve just been stuck in a mental maze someone else built.
And every step toward clarity is an act of rebellion.
You’re not lost, you’re waking up. Keep going.
