Most people never think man can be sexually abused. Men are supposed to want sex. Men are supposed to be ready all the time. That is what we believed.
We had this wrong.
Sexual abuse happens to men. And it is not your fault.
She forces you to have sex when you do not want to.
She uses threats or guilt to get you to have sex. "If you loved me, you would."
She pressures you into sexual acts you find degrading or humiliating.
She touches you in ways you do not want. Sexual acts you did not agree to.
She uses sex as a weapon. Withholding intimacy to punish you. Demanding sex as a condition of peace.
She threatens to tell people you are not man enough. She uses your sexuality against you.
These are not signs of a healthy sex life. These are signs of sexual abuse.
Sexual abuse is about control.
It is not about desire. It is not about love. It is about power.
The goal is to dominate you. The goal is to humiliate you. The goal is to make you feel like your body is not your own.
Have you ever been forced to have sex when you did not want to?
Have you ever been pressured into sexual acts you did not agree to?
Have you ever been made to feel like you owe her sex?
Have you ever been threatened or manipulated into sexual activity?
Have you ever felt violated after sex?
If you answered yes to any of these, you have been sexually abused.
Acknowledge it. Name what happened to you. It is sexual abuse. It is not your fault.
Get professional help. Sexual abuse requires specialized therapy. Find someone who works with male survivors. You do not have to carry this alone.
Document it. Write down what happened. Date, time, details. How she coerced or forced you.
Tell someone. Tell someone you trust. A friend. A therapist. A hotline. The silence is what keeps you trapped.
Know your rights. Sexual abuse is a crime. You have the right to report it. You have the right to be believed. You have the right to heal.
The CDC says 1 in 9 men have been forced to penetrate an intimate partner. That is rape. But because of how the laws are written, it is often not counted as rape.
Men often do not report sexual abuse. They think no one will believe them. They think it is not "real" sexual assault because they are men.
It is real. And it is not your fault.
The Abuse Log is a free, private tool for documenting what is happening. Only you can access it. Not even the website admin can see your entries. It is encrypted and secure.
You can log sexual abuse incidents as they happen. Date, time, details. What she did. How it made you feel. This is your record of the truth.
The Abuse Tracker shows a calendar view of your entries. Red flags appear on days you logged abuse. It helps you see patterns you might miss when you are in the middle of it.
The Break The Silence tool is a form with questions about what you are going through. Print it. Email it. Use it to start the conversation with someone you trust. Sometimes it is easier to answer questions than to find the words yourself.
Tell one person. It does not have to be a big confession. Just say, "I am going through something and I need to talk."
Start by Breaking The Silence