When you’re dealing with abuse, control doesn’t stop at what happens inside the house. It extends into your phone, your laptop, and every password you’ve ever typed. That’s why having a safe, independent email is more than a tech upgrade — it’s a line of defense.
Too many men stay vulnerable online because their abuser once helped them “set up their email,” or because every password reset and legal message still goes to an account that isn’t truly theirs. That’s a silent risk.
The fix starts with taking back your communication.
Why You Need a Separate, Encrypted Email
Abuse thrives on access — and the easiest way to monitor someone is through their inbox.
If your main account was ever shared, logged in on your partner’s phone, or synced to a joint device, assume it’s compromised. Even if you changed the password, the recovery options might still send alerts to them.
A new, independent email gives you:
A clean slate — no shared logins, no synced data, no tracking.
A safe address for legal and VAWA correspondence.
A quiet space where you control the password, recovery key, and notifications.
Why ProtonMail Works
ProtonMail was built for privacy from the ground up — not marketing.
It’s based in Switzerland, where privacy laws actually mean something. Every message you send or receive is end-to-end encrypted. That means not even Proton can read it, and no third party can access it without your key.
Key points:
No phone number required to sign up (optional but not needed).
Encryption by default — emails stay protected even if your account is hacked.
You can lock access from other devices remotely.
Built-in Proton Drive lets you store scanned documents, photos, or court evidence safely offline.
If you ever need to store abuse evidence — screenshots, text messages, or legal files — Proton Drive keeps them encrypted, even if someone gets into your computer.
How to Set It Up Safely
Go to proton.me/mail from a device your abuser can’t access (library, friend, or work computer).
Choose Proton Free — it’s enough to start.
When asked for recovery info, don’t use your old email. Use a new phrase or code you can remember.
Write your password on paper and store it away from your devices.
Turn on two-factor authentication (2FA) — use Proton’s built-in system, not SMS.
Once created, use this email only for safety-related things:
Legal aid
Immigration or VAWA correspondence
Medical or therapy appointments
Financial recovery accounts (bank, PayPal, etc.)
Keep It Off Shared Devices
Even with ProtonMail, security depends on how you use it.
Log out after every session.
Don’t save the password in browsers.
If your abuser has physical access to your device, clear history after logging out (last hour only).
On mobile, set a PIN or fingerprint just for the app.
Bonus: Secure Storage with Proton Drive
If you’re collecting evidence or personal records, store them inside Proton Drive, not your phone gallery or Google Drive.
Everything you upload is encrypted automatically.
You can even share a file with a lawyer using a password-protected link that expires after a set time.
Final Thoughts
You don’t need to be a tech expert to protect yourself.
You just need to close the doors your abuser could walk through.
A safe email isn’t a luxury — it’s part of reclaiming your privacy, your documents, and your communication.
If you’re rebuilding after abuse, start by securing your digital space.
Your inbox is your command center — make sure you’re the only one holding the keys.
